To Tell You The Truth

To tell you the truth, I do have a hilarious tale to tell. This story takes place in the classroom, as some of the best stories I've heard from lǎo wài mín have been here, in the land of Lǔ Xùn, greatest damn story teller of his time!

So there I am at the head of the classroom, at the end of the period after having shown pictures of ‘Indians’. I am leading a discussion on the trials and tribulations of the Native American people at the hands of the American government and the subsequent destruction of their beautiful culture and way of life. Well naturally, I use this opportunity to try to get them to think of similar minority cultures in their own country, such as the Naxi people, as well as to get them to admit that they have, and are still oppressing people in their own country, people such as the Uighurs.

“So from the pictures that I have shown you and from what we have discussed about the Native American people, their culture, and their defeat at the hands of the American government leading to their imprisonment on useless lands known as reservations, can you think of any group or groups of people in China that are similar to these people in any of these respects?” I ask with a gleam of hope in my eye.

Nothing… Nothing… Nothing.

I think disappointment begins to show on my once-optimistic-looking face when surprisingly, one of my students in the back begins to stand up slowly. This is odd. She never normally answers without being called on, let alone stands up voluntary to share her thoughts!

My face brightens.

“Apes.” she says.

“Apes?” I say with a confused look on my face. “I don’t understand. What do you mean by Apes?”

“Apes. Like apes. Like gorillas.” she says with a smile. She then looks down at her friends and starts to tell them the same thing in Chinese.

“How do you think the Native Americans are like apes or gorillas?” I say, feeling completely and utterly baffled.

“They look like apes. Their faces are dark and their hair is weird like apes.” she says. Completely. Deadpan. Serious.

The class roars hysterically and I am dumbfounded.

After sitting there for a couple seconds I came to the realization that, while I would have loved to begin a whole new class right there simply on how to avoid being a dumbass racist, I realized just how much I would hate to rid the world of such comic genius.