The Greatest Adventure Ever Had (or Journey to the West) - Part I

To Our Readers:

As some of you already know, and for those of you who do not: we have arrived safe and sound back in Shaoxing. We just got back on the 21st from holiday were we traveled around the west of China; these travels have come to be known as our "Journey to the West".

Yes, as you are probably thinking, we have created our own version of that classical text in a more modern context, but just as rich in hidden meaning, symbolism, and potential for enlightenment. So read on if you wish to find stories that will tantalate your mind as well as uplift your soul, but more importantly, if you proceed on you will hear of such places and of such sights as to make your spirit salivate with a dreadful and sensual longing that only an escape to these wild regions will be able to cure. Reader beware!

For the most part, what I will be writing and what you will be reading here are electronic letters made to friends and family along our journey, but all of it I can guarantee you is fully an wholly true to the letter. Enjoy reader.

Your Humble Pourvoyeur of Tales,




Teacher Welters Andrew
February Twenty-sixth, Two-thousand and Seven Anno Domini


February Eleventh, Two-thousand and Seven Anno Domini

Author's Note: This electronic letter was sent from the Qinibagh Hotel, the old British Consulate back when "The Great Game" was still being played. Hassim was kind enough to allow us to use the computer's in his office, and furthermore, his advice played a pivotal role in acquiring the services of Abdul's guides, vehicles, and connections in this region.

Well we've been really busy the last couple of days, but we wanted to
say hello and let you in on a little bit of what we've been up to. We
flew into Urumqi from Hangzhou on the 2nd and then took the 23 hour
train from Urumuqi to Kashgar. The train was fantastic! It was
Andy's first "real" train ride ever and it was an experience to be
had. The desert landscape was stunning and once we got into the
mountains the views were equally amazing. When we arrived in Kashgar
we weren't prepared for the richness of the culture, or the kindness
and depth of the people. There are whole lamb carcasses hanging
outside of restaurants, goat heads in soup and donkey carts to pull
you from where you are to where you need to go. The Sunday bazaar was
very exotic there were knives of every shape and size, middle eastern
musical instruments, spices and teas, furs and hats, as well as many
different kinds of dried fruit. The smells, sights and sounds were
breathtaking. Two days later we took a trip to Karakul Lake (about 4
hours from Kashgar) which is up in the mountains at about 12,000ft.
The lake is surrounded by mountains and we got to stay with a Kyrgz
family in their village at the base of Muztagh Ata, the most
impressive mountain you can see from that vantage point. The next day
we drove even farther west to the boarder town of Tashkurgan. We were
within miles of the Pakistan boarder (which was closed for the winter)
and about 24miles (over the mountains) from the Afghan boarder. They
say that Osama is hiding in those mountains, but we didn't see him.
There was a skirmish between the Uygher independence fighters and the
Chinese military on the 5th of Jan. Tashkurgan means "stone fort" and
there are remains of a stone fortress that we also visited whilst we
were there. At the top of the fortress the scenery was the most
pristine and majestic views that we had ever seen. There were
mountains all around us, towering, snow capped and the sky was the
clearest and bluest sky that we had seen in months. Then we drove
back to Kashgar. The next day we got up and went in the opposite
direction and saw the Taklamakan Desert. We went to kind of a
touristy part, but that was ok because there were NO tourists (but us)
and we got to ride camels!! They took us on what was supposed to be a
2 hour tour.....but ended up being almost 3. The sand dunes were
stunning. And now today we leave Kashgar and get back on the 23 hour
train back to Urumuqi where we will spend the night and the next day
fly to our next destination......Lijiang. So more from us later,
hopefully we will be able to write in a couple of days, or even
call.....

February Twelfth, Two-thousand and Seven Anno Domini

Author's Note: This partial electronic letter was obtained from online documents after an exhaustive search. It appears to be the psychologically-unstable ramblings of Mr. Welters and is addressed to his equally strange and mentally-troubled friend, one Mr. D. Jensen. I must apologize, but I was not able to manage to retrieve the whole letter, but I believe what remains is enough to clue us into the difficulties that our subjects faced along the way.

I have been traveling with Mary all through the mountains, the desert,
to the ruins of old forts, to places within the St. Cloud - Cities
distance from Pakistan and Island Lake - St. Cloud distance from the
Afghanistan border. I have seen mosques and I have seen mullahs.

Author's Note: Here is where I am unable to piece together what was being said, but hopefully, perhaps only a sentence or two may be missing. Continuing:

Just to keep you up-to-date, we are currently in Lijiang, Yunnan
Provience, China, typing on a puter at Dongba House Hostel in the old
town, and as soon as I am done and mary checks her email we are taking
off to Tiger Leaping Gorge to trek for three days.
Super-F-ing-Sugary-Sweet-Yaks-Milk-Tea-y Goodness!

STORY TO BE CONTINUED...